How to Be your own bff ?
How to Be Your Own Best Friend
Friendship is no walk in the park. Sometimes, friends relocate, forget your birthday, or utter thoughtless remarks. It’s almost as if friends, too, are just as human as everyone else.
What Exactly is Friendship?
Friendship can emerge from shared values, common interests, or simply encountering the same person during a daily commute. The desire for friendship is ingrained in our fundamental need for a strong support system that prevents us from feeling isolated in the world.
According to many popular notions of friendship, a true friend is someone who unconditionally supports you, standing by your side through thick and thin. A genuine friend looks out for your well-being, never betraying you or causing harm.
As idyllic as that may sound, we often encounter the harsh reality that friends are human beings, too. Like all of us, they can be inconsistent, self-absorbed, and occasionally oblivious to the needs of others.
Embracing Self-Friendship
However, there’s a charming notion that you can foster a profound connection with, and that lifelong friend is the one you see in the mirror every day – the one you call “Me.” This is truly wonderful news! You can cultivate a meaningful friendship with yourself.
When you become your own best friend, you can:
- Provide self-approval without relying on external validation.
- Care for yourself with love and ensure your safety.
- Comfort yourself in times of heartache.
- Amuse yourself and find inspiration in viewing life from a fresh perspective.
When you learn to rely on and appreciate yourself, your closest friend is always right there, ready to support you.
Nurturing Your Inner Best Friend
Nonetheless, there’s still a desire to connect with others because that can be enjoyable and beneficial too. When you converse with yourself, be friendly! Be empathetic! Never be harsh!
Being your own best friend can help you navigate challenges in your relationships with others. For instance, when a dear friend of mine moved away, I initially felt anger because I didn’t want her to leave. However, I came to realize that I couldn’t control her choices. What I could do was acknowledge my own feelings of distress and show kindness to the part of me that was hurting. My inner best friend consoled me when I felt abandoned, helping me understand that my friend had to do what was best for her, and I still had my dearest friend within me.
Seven Ways to Be Your Own Best Friend:
- When you look in the mirror, appreciate the unique individual gazing back at you – there has never been another you!
- When you engage in self-talk, be friendly and understanding, never harsh.
- When you need some love, offer yourself a self-hug – it’s worth trying!
- Don’t hesitate to use your name and express love for yourself.
- Schedule a self-care date to do something kind and nurturing.
- Make yourself laugh.
- Dedicate time to contemplative practices that keep you in touch with your body, mind, and emotions so that you can always tap into your inner wisdom.
A Practice to Foster Self-Friendliness:
It may take some practice to get into the rhythm of being your own best friend. Try this:
- Find a quiet moment and experiment with placing your hand over your heart or gently on your cheek – choose whatever feels most friendly and comforting.
- Intend to be present with your best friend – yourself.
- Close your eyes, if you like, and take three deep breaths: inhale for a count of five, exhale for a count of seven.
- When you’re ready, offer these words for the well-being of the wonderful person known as you (feel free to adapt these phrases or create your own): “May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I be my own best friend.”